Category: dialogue

  • Grammar Rules vs. Authentic Voice

    Why Fiction Isn’t an Essay

    Pruned rose cane
    Pruned raspberry cane

    Sharing one’s work with a critique partner takes guts, and the wait for it to come back can be excruciating, not to mention the sinking feeling that blossoms when the file opens and it’s covered with colored text and lines. Sentence fragments marked wrong. Verb forms in dialogue flagged. Split infinitives highlighted. Every sentence that starts with “And” or “But” has a note in the margin.

    During the subsequent self-edit, the changes are made, perhaps reluctantly so, but in the name of improving the writing according to feedback. The fragments become full sentences. The initial conjunctions get folded into the sentence before.

    Now the characters sound like they’re reading from a grammar textbook instead of talking like people.

    Fiction isn’t an essay, and the grammar rules that serve clarity in academic (or journalistic) writing can kill authenticity in creative work quicker than a flame.

    Same Rule, Different Plants

    Pruning guides say to cut stems at a 45° angle above an outward-facing bud. That’s sound advice for a rosebush. Apply it to a summer-bearing raspberry cane, which fruits on second-year wood and needs the oldest canes removed near the ground instead, and the next year’s harvest is cut off while following the instructions perfectly.

    The rule wasn’t wrong. It was just meant for a different plant.

    Most grammar rules were created for a different kind of writing. Prescriptive grammar tells you how language should be used. Descriptive grammar describes how people actually use it. Academic writing sits in prescriptive territory, and for good reason: quality and precision are the whole point.

    But fiction lives on another plane. The fiction author’s job isn’t to uphold a rule; it’s to capture how a person actually thinks, speaks, and moves through a world, and all of us real people break grammar rules constantly, without noticing and without apology.

    A fair number of the rules writers were taught in school were never really rules to begin with. Some are the arbitrary preferences of eighteenth-century grammarians, who decided English should behave more like Latin, which is where the prohibition on splitting infinitives comes from. Latin infinitives are a single word (example: scribere = to write); they can’t be split. English infinitives are two words, so the rule against separating them imported a constraint from a language where it was never even a thought.

    Others are class markers dressed up as correctness, ways of signaling education and status that have less to do with clarity and more with determining where someone belongs. Language is constantly shifting. What was correct in 1950 sounds stiff now, and holding a manuscript to that older standard erases the regional and cultural speech patterns that make a character sound like someone specific and someone interesting.

    Many times it’s not a matter of whether a sentence is grammatical or not. It’s whether the sentence serves the story, the scene, and the character speaking it.

    Where This Shows Up First: Dialogue

    Dialogue is where the gap between grammar and authenticity stands out the most. Real people don’t speak in complete sentences all of the time.

    Grammatically correct: “I do not know where he went. Did you see him leave?” “I did not see him leave.”

    Authentic: “No idea. Did you see him leave?” “See him? No.”

    Real speech is fragmented and interrupted, full of trailing thoughts that never get finished because the other person already knows what was meant. Dialogue polished to grammatical perfection reads like a script being performed, not two people talking.

    The same gap shows up in constructions writers overcorrect out of habit.

    Overcorrected: “It is I,” she said. “To whom should I give this?”

    Authentic: “It’s me,” she said. “Who should I give this to?”

    “It is I” is technically correct and also how no one talks unless they are a butler in a period drama or somebody totally taking the piss. Ending a sentence with a preposition is ordinary English. Restructuring a sentence to avoid it produces a stiffness that serves the rule instead of the reader.

    Different characters break different rules, and the differences are what characterization actually is. A highly educated character might speak in longer sentences and precise vocabulary and still break rules constantly in casual speech because of written diction. A working-class character might use regional grammar flaws, word contractions, double negatives, or sentence fragments that carry more weight than a complete sentence ever could. A teenage character might use “like” as a verbal tic, trail off mid-thought, let text speak slip into dialogue or internal narration. Correct these fragments into standard grammar, and it’s not cleaning up the prose. It’s erasing the character.

    One specific example is the fading of the subjunctive mood in wished-for or imagined states. Formal grammar calls for a plural verb form even when the subject is singular.

    Formal: “I wish I were taller.”

    Informal/Authentic: “I wish I was taller.”

    Most English speakers couldn’t name the subjunctive mood if asked. That’s the point, though. Nobody needs to know the rule to feel the difference in the formal version as opposed to informal. And the informal subjunctive isn’t a mistake creeping into dialogue. It’s what real people do with tenses when they speak, yet many of us know when it’s better to use the formal.

    This is a language shift in progress and is common enough in print that a critique partner marking it “wrong” is expressing a preference, not a rule. Both have their place. The choice is about the tone you want the line to have. (This is one I consider carefully with every case. Sometimes the informal just “sounds” better with the surrounding text, even in narrative prose.)

    It’s Not Only Dialogue

    Fragments in narration are also a tool, not an error. “She opened the door and saw the room was empty, which was surprising.” and “She opened the door. Empty.” are not conveying the same thing, even though they describe the same event. The fragment creates a pause that mimics the actual shape of noticing. Cut every fragment from a manuscript and the prose ceases to feel alive.

    The old rule against starting a sentence with “And” or “But” doesn’t hold up against how often published fiction does exactly that, because the full stop–new sentence construction does work a comma can’t. “She didn’t want to go. But she went anyway.” carries a hesitation the comma-joined version smooths over. Split infinitives fall into the same category. “She wants to double her subscriber count by spring” states a goal. “She wants to more than double her subscriber count by spring” is the actual goal, and there’s no other way to say it. Move “more than” anywhere else in the sentence and the math changes or it stops making sense.

    Language keeps evolving, and a manuscript either reflects that or doesn’t. Singular “they” has moved from workaround to standard; “someone left their coat” has mostly replaced the clunkier “someone left his or her coat,” and prose still defaulting to “he” as the generic pronoun reads as dated immediately. Dialogue conventions are shifting too, toward em dashes for interruption, toward dropping “said” tags when the action already tells who is speaking. The same loosening shows up in punctuation more broadly—the comma after a short introductory word or before a sentence-ending “too” is increasingly treated as optional rather than required.

    Where the Rule Still Holds

    None of this means grammar has stopped mattering. It means the question is always what a rule is advocating for.

    Follow it when clarity is genuinely at risk, such as when a misplaced modifier changes what a sentence means rather than just how it sounds.

    Follow it when the formality is the point, in historical fiction with an elevated narrative voice, or literary prose crafted around precision.

    Follow it when the rule is doing characterization—when a grammar-obsessed professor would catch and correct themselves mid-thought, or a formal character would genuinely speak more correctly than the people around them.

    Break it when authenticity requires it; when the dialogue needs to sound like an actual person and not a stand-in for one.

    Break it when the rule itself is a leftover, a Latin-shaped prohibition, or an eighteenth-century preference with no functional reason for existing in English fiction written now.

    The difference between authentic rule-breaking and sloppy writing isn’t whether the rule was followed. It’s whether the choice was made on purpose.

    Authentic rule-breaking (the best kind, hands down) is consistent with a voice already established, serves the rhythm or the clarity of the moment, and shows up constantly in published books in the genre. Sloppy writing just drifts. The voice shifts without reason from one page to the next, and if you ask the writer why they made a particular choice, they don’t have an answer, because there wasn’t one.

    Read any suspect part, whether dialogue or narrative, out loud. If it sounds like a script being performed instead of a person talking, the grammar has gotten in the way of the story it’s supposed to help tell.

    An Editor’s Role

    The critique partner from the opening didn’t do anything unusual; they just did more than what they needed to. Highlighting every fragment and flagging initial prepositions is proofing for correctness, and correctness was never the question or ultimate goal. It’s always whether the sentence is doing what the story needs it to.

    A professional (human) editor starts with this question and doesn’t stop at asking it. When a manuscript comes across my desk, I have to decide, sentence by sentence in a line or copyedit, whether something is a slip the author didn’t notice or a choice they made on purpose—a working-class character’s double negative, a sentence that leaves out a comma because the moment is fast and tense, a fragment doing important work a full sentence couldn’t. If it’s intentional or serves the scene and story, my job isn’t to correct it. It’s my task to understand the context and see the author’s vision.

    But leaving it silently unflagged creates a different problem several steps down the line. A manuscript typically passes through more than one set of hands: a developmental edit, a copyedit, a proofread, sometimes more than one proofreader if it’s with a publisher. Someone reading that manuscript without the context I had when I made the call sees a comma splice or a sentence starting with “And” and has no way of knowing whether it’s intentional or a miss that made it through the last pass. Proofreaders, in particular, are trained to catch exactly these things, because many times, they are misses.

    That’s what a style sheet is for. Every intentional pattern or nuance gets documented as it’s decided, not left for the next person (or me again in a few months) to guess at.

    This character’s sections run in fragments during moments of panic, not to be changed.

    This dialect includes consistent double negatives, STET.

    Dialogue and narrative situations where it feels more natural can use the informal subjunctive (I wish I was taller versus I wish I were taller).

    It’s where every deliberate break from style guide convention gets its reasoning explained, so the next editor down the line doesn’t have to relitigate the decision, or worse, undo it.

    That’s one of the big differences between what happened at the top of this piece and what a professional edit does. Not the red text versus no red text. Instead, it’s the willingness to ask why a sentence looks the way it does, decide on purpose, and leave a record for whoever reads next.

    Grammar is another tool in the writer’s toolkit. It was never the main focus. The focus is a character or a narrator who sounds like someone specific, with a voice consistent enough to trust and alive enough to feel like it belongs to a person and not a one-room schoolhouse primer.


    Aime Sund is The Narrative Gardener—a fiction editor and horticulturist at Red Leaf Word Services, where she helps genre fiction authors cultivate stronger stories through her Narrative Ecology™ framework. www.redleafwords.com

  • Filter Words, Unfiltered

    What These Common Words Are Really Doing to Your Story

    a variegated hosta right after rain
    Hosta ‘Striptease’ post-rain; the garden unfiltered.

    Part 1 of 3

    Imagine you’re standing in a garden just after it’s rained. The air is heavy with petrichor, the soil dark and alive, water still beading on the leaves of the hostas. You can almost feel the cool dampness against your skin.

    Now imagine standing at the edge of that same garden, but this time, behind a pane of glass.

    You can see everything. But you can’t smell a thing.

    That’s what filter words do to your readers.

    So What Are Filter Words, Exactly?

    Filter words are verbs, usually sensory, perception, or cognitive verbs, that place a layer between the reader and the character’s sensory experience. They’re the literary equivalent of that glass pane.

    They typically appear in constructions like this:

    She felt the cold seep into her bones. He noticed the door was ajar. Maya realized she was alone.

    The character perceives something, and the reader receives that perception secondhand. It’s a subtle layering; so subtle that many writers don’t notice they’re doing it. But readers feel it, even when they can’t name it. That slight remove, that almost-there quality, that sense of watching the story rather than living inside it.

    That’s the filter at work.

    The Usual Suspects

    Filter words most commonly show up as sensory and cognitive verbs:

    Sensory: feel/felt, see/saw, hear/heard, notice, watch, smell, taste, listen

    Cognitive: think, know, realize, remember, wonder, decide, experience, find (as in she found herself)

    They’re familiar words. Useful words in everyday language. Which is why they slip through so easily during drafting; they feel like good, solid anchors for the point-of-view character. And that instinct isn’t entirely wrong, which we’ll come back to.

    Why We Write Them (And Why That Makes Sense)

    Here’s something I want to be clear about: filter words aren’t a sign of weak writing. They’re a sign of a writer who is genuinely trying to stay inside their POV character’s head.

    The instinct to write she noticed the letter on the table comes from a good place. The author is thinking about the character, grounding the observation in her perception, being careful not to slip into an omniscient perspective. That’s solid craft instinct.

    The problem is that deep point of view—the kind that makes readers forget they’re reading—doesn’t actually need that anchor. When we’re truly inside a character’s perspective, the filter verb becomes redundant. Of course she noticed the letter. She’s the one telling us about it.

    Removing the filter doesn’t lose the POV. It deepens it.

    What’s Actually Happening in the Reader’s Brain

    Every time a reader encounters a filter word, there’s a micro-interruption. It’s tiny, almost imperceptible on its own. But fiction works cumulatively. One filter word is a hand on the reader’s shoulder, holding them just outside the garden gate. A manuscript full of them and they never get in at all.

    What readers are experiencing, without being able to articulate it, is narrative distance. They’re aware—just slightly, just enough—that they’re being told about someone else’s experience rather than having one of their own. The immersion isn’t broken or distorted, exactly. It’s just never quite complete.

    Think of it this way: in a healthy story ecosystem, the reader is the character for the duration of the book. Filter words remind them they’re not. They’re observers. Visitors to the garden, not gardeners themselves.

    The goal of deep POV is to hand them the trowel.

    See the Difference

    Let’s put this into practice. Here are three filter-heavy sentences, followed by their unfiltered versions:

    With filter: She felt her heart rate spike as she heard footsteps on the stairs.

    Unfiltered: Her heart rate spiked. Footsteps on the stairs.

    With filter: He noticed the room smelled of cigarettes and something chemical, something wrong.

    Unfiltered: The room smelled of cigarettes and something chemical, something wrong.

    With filter: Maya realized she’d been holding her breath.

    Unfiltered: She’d been holding her breath.

    Notice what happens in each revision. The sentences get shorter, yes, but more importantly, they get faster. More immediate. The reader lands directly in the sensation rather than reaching for it through the filter first. The glass comes down. The garden opens up to all the senses.

    A Word of Caution (Because Rules Exist to Be Broken)

    Filter words aren’t inherently wrong. Sometimes they earn their place.

    When a character is meant to feel distanced from their own experience, as in situations of dissociation, shock, emotional numbness, a filter word can actually do precise, intentional work. She watched herself sign the papers lands differently than She signed the papers, and sometimes that distance is exactly what the scene needs.

    The difference between a crutch and a tool is awareness. We’ll dig into that distinction, and how to develop the judgment to know when to cut and when to keep, in Part 2.

    Your Assignment Before Part 2

    Open your current manuscript or any chapter you’ve been working on recently and use the Find function to search for just one word: felt.

    Note how many times it appears. Don’t change anything yet. Just look.

    See how often it’s doing necessary work, and how often it’s simply standing between your reader and your character’s experience. Sit with that for a few days.

    Part 2 will give you the tools to do something about it.


    Part 2: How to Find and Fix Filter Words—coming soon.